First published in ‘Beyond the Pancake Trench – Road Tales from the Wild East’ by Orchid Press in 2004.

'I'm just your average gun-toting American', says Harvey and downs another Saigon beer.
Harvey is on holiday in Vietnam and everything's just great.
'I'm here with my buddy, he did a tour here in 1971 and now he's back for the third time. He even bought me the ticket man, he's a real dude.'
Harvey's from Colorado Springs and works in construction, mostly in Alaska.
'I'm really getting into this travelling vibe, you know I went to Europe in 84 and this is my first trip since then, and you know what? It's a fuckin' great country, Vietnam. And the folks back home, they know nothing, they are still shit scared of the Vietnamese, but I just love’em to bits.'
Harvey lights a Marlboro light and proceeds with his life story. Born in Germany he found out a couple of months back that his father is in fact not his father at all. His mother is German, his real father died shortly after Harvey graced the world and mom remarried with a GI based in Karlsruhe.
'My aunt told me a couple of months ago, man, what a drag. but i haven't said anything to the old man, don't wanna rock the boat. My dad was in 'Nam too, he did two tours, in 65 and 70. He will never come back though, he hates the Vietnamese...he's pretty narrow minded i guess.'
Harvey is small, wears thick glasses, an off-color poloshirt stuffed into tight pants that almost reach up to his arm pits. He combs his hair, what's left of it, across his forehead. And he used to be a hippy.
'Yeah man, I missed the 'Nam tour. I didn't get drafted. My dad had done two tours you see. He always thought the war was wrong but he went anyway. And he sure hates them Vietnamese.'
Harvey waves for another Saigon beer and gets into the swing of his tale.
'We won the war, really, man, we killed so fucking many of them. I guess we won. And then we just left. The US are good at that, look at Afghanistan, man. Look what they gonna do in Iraq, the same shit. We will blow that country to shit man. There's a lot of folks back home who don't agree with George W for even a minute but everyone is so fucking apathetic. He stole the election, man , with that crook brother of his. So I guess the Iraqis are pretty fucked. And bush said that he will take all their oil and use it to pay for the war.'
Harvey speaks real slow and has that real dude Hollywood hippy drawl, you couldn't make him up. Harvey's for real, man.
'My buddy he loves the Vietnamese too, man and he killed a lot of people when he was here in 71. I mean, they were real pigs then and so were we. His best three mates got shot in a skirmish. When they came back to pick up the bodies, the VC had cut their dicks off and stuffed them in their mouths. That was normal then. They all did it. But the dude, my friend, he was not in the big battles, only skirmishes. Like, he arrived at the camp in Nha-trang and the next day he's on a chopper and he's getting shot at. And he never understood why. It was fucked up, man, we never should have been here.'
Harvey grins as the waitress drops another beer by his side.
'Yeah, man, dude, these people, they are so fucking industrious. They work all day for nothing, rebuilding their country. And we sure fucked it up, man. My buddy said that they were just fighting through moonscapes, man. We took all the trees, defoliated the fucking lot and fried them all alive. Like I said, I think we won the war because we killed so many Vietnamese. Millions, man, millions. And now, I think they done a great job rebuilding their country. When I think of the fucking bums I work with at home. They drive a hundred miles to work every day cause the gas is so cheap, man. They don't care, man. They got everything, man, a house, a car, and it's never enough and then if they don't feel like it, they just don't come to work. One of my best friends, he had everything, a pool, a nice car, good kids. He blew his brains out four weeks ago. People don't know what they are doing anymore, why they are alive. Vietnam has shown me a few things man. When Harvey gets home he's gonna work real hard.'
He grins at the waitress,
'And I'd sure like to take me one of them Viet gals home. American women,' he snorts, ' nothing but trouble, man, nothin' but trouble.'
Harvey lights another Marlboro and continues.
'I mean I am from the Land of the Free. How fucking free are the US today? I get the impression Vietnam has more freedom. and the government here ain't exactly peaches and cream. In the States there's a fucking cop on every street corner, man. Here you can do what you like, man, get drunk, take a girl and ride your bike without a helmet. USA - Land of the Free? I don't think so no more. I just hope Bush gets beaten at the next election. He's a crazy dangerous man who cares only for rich folks and the oil mafia. Hopefully Cheney will pop from a heart attack before then anyhow.'
As I turn to leave he shouts, ' man come and see us in Saigon. just go to the May Phai hotel and ask for the Americans, they'll all know us there, right next to the 'Guns And Roses bar', it's a blast man. Yeah, man, we love this country. America loves Vietnam.'
And what does his father think of all this, reconciliation and Vietnam's re emergence into the global economy?
'Well you know, like a lot of Americans, my dad is a pretty narrow-minded guy. He hates them. He won't even eat rice no more. He hasn't touched rice since 1970, when he came back home, man.'